Change Is Good. Right?

Name: Kassy
Age: 20
Subject: Change.

Have you ever realized in life how change is always the hardest thing? Like when you are a little kid and all you ever want is to just have friends and then your family moves. That change hurts. I have felt that hurt. I have experienced that. And now that I am an adult, it hasn't really changed all that much. I have an interview scheduled for BSSM May 28th @ 3pm. And it just hit me, that that means this is all real. That I didn't just apply to a school. I am now awaiting an interview to determine whether or not I am going to move away or not. Do I want to? Oh yeah. Will it hurt? More then you can even imagine.

Astoria. It's my home. The place I grew up. The place where I met all the people who now mean the world to me. My best friends. And my family. My entire life has been here. In this place. And just thinking about leaving...my heart aches. Because it would mean that I would have to experience that change once again. I know it's not a bad thing. It just isn't easy.

So many of the people I love still live here and will probably be here if and when I leave.

My family. My mom & dad. My sisters. And my Grandma. Wow. Leaving them behind will probably be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. They are my lifeline. We fought some crazy fights, got over addictions, and loved together. We started new lives and changed together. And my heart is always with them. I don't know if I will be able to say goodbye to them. I know I will cry many many tears, even after I am gone. My heart, might break just a little.

My friends. So very many of my favorite memories are with my friends. I am convinced that they are the reason I am standing here today. The reason I am who I am. They helped me through the roughest part of my life. And they still love me. There is one girl in particular who it might be the hardest to say goodbye to because I have had to say goodbye to her so many times before.

I have known her for most of my life living here in Astoria. She is probably one of the most beautiful women I know. Her heart for God shines through her. She isn't perfect, and she isn't around a lot. But I love her to pieces. She is my best friend. She has and always will be. No matter where we go in life, I know we will always be there for each other. We changed together. We helped each other. I have yelled at her. And she has just taken it. She has, I am sure, gotten upset at me more then a few times, but she still loves me just the same. It will be hard saying goodbye to her, because this time, it will be me leaving.

Riverpoint Youth. My greatest change happened in this place. My heart grew fond of my Papa God. I got over addictions and losses of childhood, and pain and heartaches in that place and with those people. They knew me at my lowest time in my life where I was ready to just give up on life. And they were my strength. I knew that the love I felt there the first time I ever went, was the love I had been looking for for so long. I changed the most there. I found God for real for the first time with those loving individuals who were there every step of the way. I honestly don't know where I would be or what I would be doing with my life if it wasn't for them. Leaving that place, although I know I will always be able to return, will be hard. They have been my support system for the past almost 2 years now. But I know you have to learn to stand on your own where you are leaning on God only.

So change is good right? And I know that all of this is just up in the air until I get accepted at the school. But this has been on my heart a lot. Leaving. Changing. And living. See the beauty and art of God in a completely new location where my photography will have to capture new images. I know that I am ready for a big life change. But it doesn't mean it won't hurt. Please keep me in your prayers. That Papa will provide me the funding to go to BSSM. I need provision in the name of Jesus!

God Bless.