Family And Beliefs.

Name: Kassy
Age: 20
Purpose: To Vent?

Family. You love them. You leave them. You dislike them at moments. But they are always there. My family. Is CRAZY. That's right. Totally an completely insane. In a good way. However there is something that makes it hard for me to be a part of my family sometimes.

Beliefs. Oh, and faith.

Yes. I am going there.

I want to go to a school that could change my life forever. BUT, and this is a big BUT. My family doesn't think it's a good idea. Namely my mom, dad and older sister. Why? Because of their beliefs and their thoughts patterns. So right now. I am going to vent my frustrations about my family on my blog. Because I have to get it out. I tried but I feel like I need to write it fully and completely out.

My mom is a believer of God and believes that Christ died for our sins and is our savior. She believes that God can heal but has a religious spirit and fear working against her when it comes to me wanting to go to BSSM. She is also very much influenced by what people write about places that are complete and total lies. She went on Google and searched the school. And things that were written about it were less then impressive. Because people always have opinions and people don't understand the power of the Holy Spirit. So they call it a cult. And then she misread what the website said about the school thinking that it said that they give you powers. When they really help you grow in your faith and learn about the gifts that God has given you. And that is the religious thought. That it's a cult. When in reality it's the real, true, power of the Holy Spirit working. Satan doesn't like that. So things get said, and things get written and it's all a bunch of pooey. And then she has fear working through her. She doesn't want me to go because it is too far away and that she will never be able to see me. Total fear. But I need to grow. And take a step into the unknown.

My dad believes in God, and has had experiences where Jesus has literally saved him. But he also believes in reincarnation and different kinds of things from different religions. And he is influenced by my mom so whatever she thinks, he thinks. Because you know, they are married. And I guess you should agree on some things. But it would be nice if someone was on my side. Bleh. I love my dad, but sometimes...I don't know.

My older sister believes in God but doesn't believe that Jesus is our savior. Which was one of the hardest things for me to ever hear. Because I just couldn't imagine. And we have talked about it. And I have tried to argue. Which didn't get anywhere at all. And all that jazz. But she is also influenced by my mom so she doesn't want me to go either. She read the website and also misread it. Telling me that no school can give you powers, and that God is the only one who can give you gifts. Which I totally agree with but that isn't what the school is saying. And I love my older sister. But I don't know how to get across to her, but to just love. She told me she will never change her beliefs because she knows that it's the right thing. Which I respect her for. But I just worry.

And my younger sister is a teenager. And as a teenager she might believe in God and Jesus, but she won't say it because she wants to be cool. And according to teen law....if you are a Christian, you aren't cool. So she doesn't like me talking about God to her or around her because she likes her life and doesn't want to be convicted of her sins. So she puts me down about my faith saying I am acting all "holier then thou". When I am just trying to be a better me.

Then there is my grandma. I love her. And she believes in most everything I believe in but when someone tells her something she kind of gets swayed. SO when she hears negative things about what I am doing or what the youth group is doing or the school I want to go to. She thinks. And over thinks. And then maybe gets a negative mindset about it too. Even if it is all a lie. She tries not to take sides. But she doesn't want to step on anyones toes. And some day she will have to choose a side and not sit on the fence. Not that she needs to choose sides as in be on my side or theirs. But she has to know where she stands in her faith. Either all in or not in at all.

So there it is. My family. Their beliefs.

And my beliefs? I believe in my Papa God. And Jesus. And the Holy Spirit. And holy drunkenness. I believe in the baptism of fire and water. As in, the baptism of the Holy Spirit and water baptism. I believe that the lifestyle in the book of Acts in the Bible is the lifestyle we are supposed to live. Be proactive. Go and do. Not just sit and talk. And though I know that I am totally not the perfect Kingdom Citizen, I am doing what I can to better myself. And I just love God. I am head over heels in love with God. He is my provider and my father. He loves me with no contraints and treats me like a princess. He sets me up for sunsets to see and capture on camera. He does that for me. He calls me beautiful and lovely and his darling. And I love it. And my entire life, is no longer mine. It's not. I don't live for me. I live for God. And that's that.

So it's hard to be a part of a family that has different thoughts. Do I love them any less? No. Not one little bit. Because I do love them. I pray that they will come to the realization that life is more then what they think and that there is a God that is the God of all gods, the Lord of all lords who has the world in his hand. Who sent his son to die for our sins and to show us the lifestyle we are meant to live. I know it sounds like I was being kind of harsh about my family, it's just. Part of me doesn't know what to do. And the other part of me wants to just slap them in the face and tell them I am not stupid. I am not naiive about my Papa God. I am naiive about a lot of things. But when it comes to my relationship with God, I have learned to be wise. I am learning daily more and more about my Papa. And whatever he wants in my life I want.

So this is just me venting. It doesn't happen that often that I need to vent like this. But it had to happen eventually. I love my family. They mean the world to me. They are beautiful and loving people. Hilarious and silly. I don't know where I would be without my family. They have taught me so much. This one thing. However big it may be....has made it hard to be around them sometimes when they make little snide remarks about decisions I have made. Like giving up Harry Potter and Twilight because I believe it wasn't good for me. Now it's one thing after another, "Oh, I thought you couldn't watch Avatar because it's fantasy." But though we have different beliefs. I will always love them. And have faith that God will show them his true and pure love. The love that sent his son on the cross. The love that is the reason why I can stand here and say that I have a relationship with God. Not perfect. I am still learning and stumbling. But nonetheless, a relationship. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. They mean so much to me.

God Bless.