The Future?

As a girl.

I dream.

I dream about my future so very often.

The other day I was with my mom and little sister, shopping at Safeway, when I saw a BRIDES magazine. [Mind you; I don't even have a boyfriend.] But I just love weddings. I think they are so beautiful. So I got myself to thinking even more about what I would want at my wedding.

An outdoor wedding would be lovely. But instead as a gazibo, as is shown in this picture, I would like a big, wooden cross behind me and my future husband.

Speaking of my future hubby. I cannot wait until God brings him to me. I have waited for so long. And I will continue waiting for him. Until Papa says it's time.

Then, I will be able to start my family.

Which is something I have always wanted.

Am I rambling?

Love.

Am I just being so girly right now? Haha.

Okay. Back on track.

I would love my colors to be Purple and Green.

Because purple is my favorite color.

Apparently purple is usually associated with nobility and spirituality.

That's pretty cool.

Green symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness and fertility.

That is something I did not know. But those are both very beautiful colors and amazing combinations.

My wedding dress.

Idealy, I would like to design my own dress.

But, if that can not happen. I would love a dress by the designer Maggie Sottero. She is kind of amazing.

I am seriously rambling right?

Going from one thing to another. Doesn't really give much of an idea of what I would want, right?

I am so weird.

But I am SO okay with that.

Maybe I should be a wedding designer?

Maybe not?

Just as long as me and my beloved are together, it almost really doesn't matter what my wedding is like.

Just to know that he will be by my side.

For the rest of my life.

Would be enough for me.

And that would make me happy...

But there is always one more part of the recipe.

This part, happens to be the most important part.

The Holy Spirit.

God is the center.

Always.

And in my future. He will be the center.

My husband and I...

Prayer warriors. Always in the presence of God. Because God is the most important part of every recipe. So very beautiful He is. So very perfect.

My future.

I don't know what it's going to be like.

But it will be forever.

Like a ring. It's circular. Everlasting.

Beautiful.

I am so blessed and so very loved.

God, I thank you for my dreams. And the love you have for me. Lord, I pray for my future husband. Papa, bless him. Teach him. Hold him in the storms he faces. Papa speak beautiful words to him. Cleanse him. Romance him. And show him your amazing glory. Papa, let him drown in your glory and presence. You are so amazing. I love you. Amen.

God Bless.

Breaking Points & Letting God Take Control

Today.

It's been rough.

Yesterday.

More so.

I have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately and I didn't really know what to do. I felt so out of control. Overwhelmed. At a breaking point. I just wanted to roll into a ball and cry. Yesterday a thought that crossed my head was how easy death would be compaired to life. Not that I would ever commit suicide. But the only thing I thought was, how I would much rather be in Heaven right now then be on Earth.

Then, while I was writing this update. I was going to just go on and on about how I can't handle life right now. And that living at my parents house is stretching me thin.

But then I realized...I just need to give everything to Papa. I just need to hand over all of my problems to God. Because He is in complete control. My life is in His hand. The King of Kings loves me. And I love Him! I need to just put all of my trust in Him.

If I just cling to the cross.

I know that everything will be fine. That while I may feel like I am stumbling in the dark. That Jesus is my guiding light. That if I just look upon Him, I will get through it. This is just a sea. A stormy sea, that Jesus will calm. I am inviting Him in. Onto the boat so He may calm the storm.

Just writing this down. I feel so much better.

God is in control. He is all over this problem.

And I totally know He will calm this.

I am so blessed to be loved by the God of the universe.

God Bless.

It's Been A While

Name: Kassy
Age: 21
Subject: Update

So, it's been a while since I have written anything on here. In fact I should have read my last blog to see how long it really has been. But I am just going to do a little updating.

I live at home. I have my own room now. I am MOD at my work. And I now am in possession of a laptop computer.

Is that good enough?

Well. I don't really know what else to say. I have kind of been a little more then a little stressed out lately. I work, constantly. And I have to deal with my family. And as much as I love both, it can get pretty stressful.

Work. Well, work is work. I do my job. I have to listen to drama. And I do it well. I try my hardest, however useless it seems. But I love my job. It's fun. I like...most...of the people I work with. And the rest, I deal with. I try to be as nice as possible. But sometimes...it's a little overwhelming and I feel like exploding. It's not even just my coworkers. Sometimes, having more responsibilities at work can be exhausting. Especially when it comes to dealing with customers. Complaints, obsessive projects, and wrong locations of sale signs. All turn into a big ordeal of why can't I have this sale, and if you don't give me it, I won't return. No, no one has ever actually told me that to my face, but I am sure that they think it.

Family. Well. They are...family. It's hard to deal with them sometimes. Well, ok. Mostly just my little sister and brother. My parents...are easy enough. It's just...I don't know. A lot to handle. Always feeling like I'm not good enough and if I act like myself, they will tear me to pieces. And when I say myself, I mean myself. As in my kingdom citizen self. As in my Jesus Loving Heart....self. But I deal. Or I do as good as I can.

Is life tough? Oh yeah. But I try my hardest. I haven't really been spending as much time with God as I usually do, and I think that is partly because...I am afraid. Getting too close. I don't really know. Once I get close, I back away. Is that normal?

I don't really know.

Eh. It's ok. Life will get better....I hope.

I have faith that it will.

Well, TA TA for now!

Kass